Welcome to our weird and wonderful news stories about dogs ....

There's something different about you. People sense it the moment you walk in the door. Is it in your smile, or the way wear your hair? Truly, there are countless manifestations of your canine obsession.

Here are the top ten:

#10: Stray hairs on your clothes.

White hairs make a mess of your black wool skirt, while black fur collects in tufts on your white fleece pullover. You've spent a small fortune on lint removers, but have finally given up. Shedding isn't just for the dogs anymore.

#9: Pockets full of old bread bags (or mutt mitts).

Dog owners live by the Boy Scouts' motto: Be prepared. After all accidents do happen, even on Mr. Smith's meticulously manicured lawn. You'll be ready when they do.

#8: You whistle to call your dog...and your kid.

In fact, you find it hard to distinguish between the two. Your wallet, desk, and the wallpaper on your Windows XP Desktop are packed with photos of Caesar.

#7: You've been caught on more than one occasion talking to your dog as if he were a person.

You pause patiently while the dog "answers" you. And you insist that he does answer!

#6: You like people your dog likes, and hate those she hates.

Instead of your parent's approval, your dates must win Muffy's favor. This has made dating almost impossible for you, since Muffy tends to be jealous of anyone who takes your attention away from her.

#5: You give out gifts that your dog "bought," and sign cards from you and your dog.

Having given up on teaching Buford how to hold a pencil, you now ink up his paw to leave his print. Unfortunately he got away before you could wash it off, and now there's a line of permanent black paw prints across the linoleum in the kitchen.

#4: You greet dogs by their names, but can't remember the names of their owners.

"Dude" and "Ma'am" seem to work well in a pinch.

#3: You sleep huddled in the far corner of your bed while your dog sprawls out in the middle.

You don't even mind when she snores, drools on your pillow, and steals the blankets.

#2: Your phone is programmed to speed dial the vet, groomer, dog trainer, pet store, and kennel.

What's more, the clerks can identify you by your voice.

#1: On Christmas, instead of cookies, you bake doggie biscuits.

You have a recipe file of Princess's favorite kinds, and make plates to deliver to all her doggy friends. Incidentally, she gets more presents than you do, and the ones you do get seem conspicuously related to dogs.

According to an American Kennel Club survey of dog owners, an overwhelming majority of women - nearly 90% - find at least one quality in their dog that they'd like to see in their significant other. 34% of the women surveyed agreed with the statement "if my dog was a man, he'd be my boyfriend".

Gai Miller, spokesperson for the AKC said "dogs are so important to their owners that they can, in many instances, make or break a relationship. If you really want to please your partner this Valentine's Day, you might be better off buying chew toys than chocolate!"

The poll also found that:

• When it comes to meeting women, 58% of men said a puppy is a foolproof babe-magnet in the park.
  
  
• Before you date a dog lover, make sure you like their dog too! A whopping 66% of dog owners said they wouldn't even consider dating someone who didn't like their dog.
  
  
• Make sure your mate's feelings for you are genuine! 14% admitted they might continue dating someone they didn't like all that much, just to spend time with their dog.

A Belgian man believed he had an excellent specimen of Dobermann, and wanted to display him at one of the most prestigious dog shows in Germany. Unfortunately, though, the dog's testicles had failed to descend. This would certainly be regarded by the judges as a fault.

The owner was not discouraged - he arranged for testicle implants to be put in by a vet. After the scars had healed, the owner proudly took his pet to the show, now convinced that his dog would win.

The judge who examined the dog soon found to his astonishment that it had four testicles instead of two. The owner hadn't noticed that the dog's testicles had descended to join the artificial ones a few days before the show. The Belgian and his over-endowed dog were thrown out!